I won't be blogging all over my blog anymore. Feelings faded. Interest lost. Maybe as and when I like. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the week after. Hosting my personal website soon. Till then! Bye peeps! Love y'all!

"In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. Roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. And not to forget roads to happiness, sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment."

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Haha. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. Yes, a crossroad.

I'm not sure I can explain this properly or even put my finger on it. I will try.

Almost a year ago, I'm a happy girl. I 'thought' I found my balance. Family, friends, money and jobs. It look all vague in my vision now.

I think I began to miss it on last few months. Some days I found myself feeling as if I was detached from my body. Detached from my family, friends and my life. D-e-t-a-c-h-e-d. It was as if I was in waiting for an event. What event? I had no knowledge of any nor any expectancy for any such happening. I felt sad and angry. Frustrated. Then, disappointment. It was like a cycle. A process I've been through that turned yellow in my book of life.

I need to run. I need to conceal myself. Before everything falls into pieces. I thought to myself, 'What is wrong with me?'. It then took me weeks to figure it out all by myself. It isn't depression. It's just the shadow visiting. I know the difference between them.

I have pacified these by telling myself I am at a crossroads.

Nothing terrible has happened. Really.

Is just changes in me that even me, myself can't comprehend.


For today I've made the decision. I don't know how will it turn out, but definitely something positive(:


xoxo, sis. Thanks for all the late night cheering and words and tears. You're the second most important person in my life. I love you.

Labels: My thoughts

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of lights and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

Ohhhh Edward, Edward, Edward...



I need Eclipse. It’s like a drug, an addiction to me. The thought of leaving my book at my desk while I’m away, probably in school, makes me yearn for ‘home’. Hell yes! I had finished reading the 2nd within 3 days although school ended late these days. Sigh.


I wanted so badly to know the ending, the finale; Still, I will never allow Teng to be a spoiler.


And yes, I’ve been chunking aside my assignments and have left them to rot on the damn table for god knows when. Friday was one of those hectic days where I’d to rush for my CD cover designs and 3d modelling. I was obviously in dope shit.


I’ve to thank my friends in helping me! Most of the work was done by Linda and Anqi. I remember myself staying till 9 with Linda on Thursday to finish modelling my character. At least spare me some credit for last minute work oKIE!


I’m so fucking grateful. I almost wanted to kill myself half-way through the whole Maya project. I feel so screwed up. Nothing ever works well. Ever.




All I need now was ample of SLEEP before the nightmare kicks in. Please, a peaceful one, without vampires. Just Edward. Not the 'Blade I, II, III' guy.

Labels: My thoughts, School

Beneath those text


My oh my, it's already the third week of November!

Can't time pass a wee bit slower?




I’m feeling paranoid over my time schedule lately. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that time passes by so hastily. My daily routine goes on so systematically that I sense I’m no longer making THAT every-day decision which I used to compose myself each day.

It was as if I don’t have the option of making them, and I’ve push myself in a brink of having very limited alternative. What? My life goes...; Day by day, Week after week, Month after another.


Why do I feel all of a sudden that time is running out? And that every day is so important to me? So little time, so little me.



Sigh...

So, what have I been up to this week?



Honestly, not as much as I would have liked!


The dreary weather has made it impossible for us to go out most of the time.
(Rain=No riding on motorbike)


Well, of course, there is always the option of public transport. But having the bike for more than a year now has weaned my dear boy off taking buses and MRT.

And me? Of course I'm still fine with it! =P

But it's the lazy factor I guess.


And besides, it's the mentality of "Why take public transport when we have a bike?"
So we have to wait till the rain stops, or when it's just a slight drizzle, before heading out!





And I've been taking this one week rather easy too, because I need some time alone to think.

I’ve been thinking seriously about my future, my career.



Been considering whether I'm truly cut out to be the designer I aspire to be.

It isn't an easy decision to make, definitely not as easy as some of you might make it out to be. There is still a sense of anxiety in me.



Despite the encouragement I've been getting by my Course Coordinator Ms Gail (which I appreciate a lot... Thanks!), there have also been naysayers who feel that being a designer is not just designing something out of it but designing something which are totally new and fresh. It’s darn competitive and challenging.



But I know that, ultimately, I will select this path.



It's just a matter of WHEN.



Hope I don't screwed up this time.


Bye.

Labels: My thoughts

I'm back!



Sorry, I haven't been updating this site regularly.

My life has been mundane. So gee, I've nothing much to update. Unless you wouldn't mind my narcissist pictures being occupy the whole post. Oh wells, I hear someone moaning already. Hehe.

By the way, I feel so terrible for having Linda to worry for me on a Monday afternoon. She almost wanted to report that I’m missing. And she missed call me 18 times. Oh my dear! I quickly call her upon getting back my phone.

"Hah. I'm kidnapped by aliens." –Rainie Yang [不良笑花]

I initially wanted to quote this phrase from Rainie as soon as Linda picked up the phone, but I don't think is funny to start off with a joke in view of the fact that the situation was pretty dreadful.

Sorry honey. I know you love me too. *hugs*




I've gain some valuable experience from this incident. I'll never do such foolish thing ever again and ended up feeling oh-so-remorse and wished so badly it would not happen on me. You'll certainly don't understand the choking emotion; when all you could do is to sit there reminiscing and reflect for what you have done.


I'm finally enlightened.

I would not say that it was an awful incident after all.

Maybe that’s the reason why I've MIA myself.

Once bitten twice shy, thus I shall let bygones be bygones and stop dwelling on these anymore.

Everything happens for a reason. I know.


What comes around goes around,

Perhaps this is another turning point in life that I should always remember.


Thank you Liz, I think you're the only one that I can talk to so freely. I feel hundred times better although it's a short conversation between the both of us. I love you!






Yay! I'm thinking of changing my blog layout soon! "Hu hu~!" :D

I have some ideas in mind already, but I’m afraid I might not have the time to complete it before school starts next week. Fret not! Next week there’s no class... Only have Lectures. "Hu hu~!"



If you're bored you can catch this Taiwan Drama on YouTube Staring my favourite Rainie and Wilber:

不良笑花 Ep.1


Double click and watch it on YouTube. Don't forget to add &fmt=18 for a clearer quality video!

For example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-V5vx_hO-w&feature=PlayList&p=AF8439ED8E9DC375&index=0&fmt=18


Can't wait for next week episode 6! "Hu hu~!"

"我要呼呼!" 哈哈! 超好笑的!
(Rainie's loud voice is like blasting in my speaker! It’s irritating yet cute. Haha!)

Good night people! :)

Labels: My thoughts, Random

Bummer

Many times, people tell me I've got split personality. And sometimes, I feel there's another side of me. Just not yet unleash.

So lately I've been thinking about these two extreme personalities that I'd. And, I realise I don't know myself well enough to write a 1000 word essay of "Who am I".


Who am I? This question has been spinning in my head as though it was a 360 degree roller coaster ride that I've sat 4 years back.



I'm not sad. I'm just angry I don't know myself like how others do.

I hate the feeling of inadequacy. Then again, who doesn't?



Alright, nothing in particular has sparked this sudden influx of emotions. I just need to find a space to pen down these pent-up emotions. Shan't elaborate myself further.

I know I'll feel much better after penning them down.



I love these two girlfriends of mine.
But, why am I feeling so blue? It's all written over my face.

I feel the more I tried, the more I'll fall.
And each time I attempt climbing back to the peak again, I'll struggle even more.


When will I ever see the rainbow again?


I'm not losing myself.

So many thoughts un-verbalised. Sigh.

Labels: Melancholy, My thoughts

Blessed


I'm s'pose to be in MOS at this hour! But why I am still caught at home blogging?

Reason why?

Simple,

Because I'm still Seventeen!

Hello!!! I still got to wait for 3 more months till I turn legal!

Damn!


My dear Linda is such a "great girlfriend" of mine. She left me all behind and went ahead with the party! Ermm... or seriously working for some event!? :b Still, heart her tho.

Ha-ha! Oops, since when Veron became so corny?!?

Many credits to Eric for the above picture! LINDA!
Someone's GPA 3.4 luh! :P

I might be meeting some of the girls tomorrow but only provided that they're able to pull off from all the shoots/events. Count me out from any steamboat marathon! I'm afraid my body cannot take it. Then, I'll be eating all the veges; carrots and mushrooms! Total waste of money hur? Laughs. Just kidding!



Results are out a week ago,


A, C, A, B, C, A, A
GPA: 3.154
(I must learn from people like Jessy, Zhang Kai and Linda to improve!
Jessy your GPA 3.9??? Zhang kai 3.8??? Now who's the 'shen'... ? :P Thanks both for coming down the other day! *Mwa*)
For someone who doesn't take art for O Levels,


Who hate drawing like how much she hates to be on the stage,


Who doesn't have any design background (pardon to exclude my random-ness for playing around with Photoshop, editing, designing of blog layout and freelance in web design),


I'm proud that I manage to pull through the last 4 months despite all the late nights and the demanding working hours for each and every individual design. Was pretty satisfied with my overall performance for semester 1. I really hope I could keep it up and strive for a better grade for the next semester.


I'mma happy bitch already.
No, wait! I believe there's still room for improvement! ;)


Gotta run,
xoxo!

Labels: My thoughts, Random, School

Second accident on the road

Holidays are mundane. I have been rotting at home doing basically nothing. No work, no life, no friend! Argh, pathetic isn't?

Once again... my room's resemblance to a pig sty is getting increasingly uncanny day by day, and I don't how long more I can stand it. I need to start packing my room soon but I'm just too pig to get it started! Therefore, I shall conclude that I need a part time maid!!!

I've to say that 2008 is definitely not my year! Saturday, when we were on our way to Great Eastern Central for my casting, we met with a bike accident and the taxi driver insisted Hun to pay him straight cash for the little damage that the bike had done on his taxi's back bumper. Hmmm... Maybe "damage" is a little too harsh in this term; let's call it a "cat scratch" instead! :p

Dear started off trying to negotiate with the taxi uncle if he could get back to him after we're done with our stuff since we’re all in a rush, but you know this friendly jargon don't last for long. Soon enough, a fight (duh... verbally of cause) sparked off in the middle of the road which led to a traffic jam. Poor people!

"Never ever try to push a leo's limit, because you'll never know what will you get at the end of the day!" – Veron

The taxi uncle really chooses the wrong time and pick on the wrong guy to argue with. I felt apologetic yet complacent at the same time. Hehe! Dear, you're the man! :D

Thank god Hunny managed to control his bulky bike, or else my leg is going to kiss the exhaust pipe goodbye!

This is the first time he hit a car after 2 years of riding. He's always a watchful rider but he somehow lost his grip on that fateful day. Rofl.

I know it's mainly my fault for rushing him like nutcase. Well, both of us have this phobia on the road now! The other time was a car accident and now it was a bike accident.

I feel traumatize even in my slumber land; A vivid recollection of the car impact still haunts me in my sleep on the order of every fortnight. Dang!




Death...

Is always a morbid topic to talk about...

Full stop.


Diana and Linda! Their name somehow rhymes! :D
There's 100 over Portraits of Pretty Celestina taken in this camera!
Lucky me! Get to see them before being process! :P

(:

P/s: I'm lazy to come up with a new blog layout. So... it's back to the basics: Boxes! Ain't they pretty and simple? Take care lovelies!

Labels: Holiday, My thoughts

...time I see these familiar faces; Class of 2007 4A?
...meet-up for a game of pool with hun and my girlfriends?


... "signature scribble" of mine on the old school desk?
(Credits: *Rand for taking this picture for me as a memory!*)


...crazy camwhore period at home when I've got nothing better to do?


...time you drift off into slumberland with the memory of your head leaning on my lap comfortably while I kept my other hand busy by playing with your hair?


... Ayu's music I listen before I leave home for shopping?


... occasion that I'd felt embarassed about and I'll never forget in life?
(It have to be CODID dressed-up presentation!!!)



... plane ride I took for a sweet vacation out town?


... K session with my lovely friends and hun?


... tanning and bitching at the beach with my love ones?


And when was the last last last time I actually did a blog layout for thyself?


All in all, I missed all the "last" moments I ever did and done. I hope they're not the last, so pleaseeeeee ensure me they're NOT and they will never be! (P/s: Each one of you stepped into my life, leaving footprints in my walk of life, painting colours and bringing wonderful memories. All of you will be forever missed and clearly remembered in the heart. Thank you for leaving footprints on my heart. I'll never forget for as long as I live.)

Labels: My thoughts

Before I go on ranting...

I'm missing this bitch over here!): Thanks for dua-ing me last Saturday's Supper cos your bike broke down! Because of that... I love/hate you hun! :P

And...
I miss this babe over here tho she was only with me less than a month! Thank god I don't have to walk around in school with her anymore because I feel frigging fugly and short beside her.(Kidding eh!) Boo-hoo! She's 1.68m tall! *faints* I only went town with her twice, and one is to Artfriend and another is to get my Superhero outfit. So pleaseeeee make sure I'll be going out with you soon! hehe. I'll be throwing your cigarettes away if I ever see you holding them :P! Love you, Mel!

Labels: My thoughts, rants

It's difficult to be strong sometimes... but there are times when you just have to muster all the strength you have, however little, to provide emotional support to people you care about.

With all the craziness happening around the world, I think the message has never been greater than it is now - Cherish your loved ones.

Let's all pray for the people in China and Myanmar! Pray for: The Victims of the earthquake in Sichuan Province, China - and for the authorities to respond with efficiency in the recovery. That the storm victims in Myanmar will get sufficient aid and supplies to survive through the terrible conditions after the storm. Pray that the Junta will allow more help to go in to save the helpless children and widows.

God, be gracious to me and hear my prayer.

Labels: My thoughts