I know, it seems like I am, but I’m not quite yet... dead. I’ve just had a lot of fun offline, doing crazy stunts, well, most of the time alone. Truckloads of shit happen, and as rotten as some of them were, there were still enjoyable moment. I grow use in staying this way, at least. Me being optimistic as always, foolishly hoping that the sky will turn less grey someday. Le sighs.

I wish I could overcome this barrier in my heart of not having you by my side twenty-four seven. Constant absence lingers upon me when you’re gone. Distant. Your presence still haunts me in my sleep. In our dream, you’re not even an inch close to me. But, it feels less distant than the reality. Then I realize I miss you terribly much. The cup of hot espresso on my computer side was deemed tasteless even if I overdose it with the entire sugary packet I could find in the kitchen. Undeniably, these prove that absence makes one heart grow fonder.


I’ve got nothing planned ahead for the rest day. I’m kind of glad about that. I missed not doing anything. I’m quite contradicting myself, aren’t I?

I want attention and people around me, but then I would appreciate time spend alone.


oh, god.
I miss you hell lot, my solar energy.

Labels: Emotions